Time Flies.

... When you have a baby.

It has actually seemed that way for quite a while, even before I got pregnant. I feel as though I have been dreaming for years now.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions and not really living them, like I'm just a passive observer of sorts. I wake up, do baby stuff, watch tv and rot my brain, do more baby stuff, do some housework, feed Keeli here and there, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat. I love my life, I really do, but I am not constantly and consistently fulfilled as I thought I would. I miss my friends, and the coming and going as I please thing. I miss being the social butterfly I once was.

It's not that I don't have friends, I do, but I definitely don't have the same ones I used to. I have totally different interests now, for the most part, and the friends I have, I have because I'm a mom and that's what we have in common. I'm in this weird transition period, once again trying to find myself. I'm twenty years-old, and I'm still in the same position I was when I was sixteen. Ha. At some point, I expected things to just mesh and gel together, as though I'd eventually reach a plateau and everything would just be perfect and that would be the end of it. Luckily, (I think "luckily") that hasn't happened yet. I do enjoy the little things: my daughter's smile, knowing that she needs me, knowing that she is going to love me even when she's fifteen and I'm the last person she wants to be around (if she's anything like I was). I just feel like I need something more...

It's another reason I'm glad that I'm returning to school sooner than expected; I will finally be working towards something productive. It isn't to say that I'm wasting time staying at home necessarily, but I need to get my career on the move once again. I can't wait to be DONE with school and set my current house floor plans into motion. I want to get out from under my parents', because I've got that whole "independence" thing going on.

I'm not in a slump... I'm just ready to get going, I suppose. I can't believe Keeli is already almost three months-old; I can remember thinking I was going to be pregnant forever!

Every year has gone by much more quickly than the last. It's something I was talking about to my long-time guy friend, Nick. He doesn't even have children, but he brought up the fact that time is just getting away from him somehow. It's so true. I'm going to be twenty-one years old and there are times when I still feel like I'm so young... Not maturity-wise, but it's just one of those things.

This is a boring post, I know, but it's six in the morning and no one is awake. It's my blog, after all...