Deciding to Stay at Home

In taking the past couple of days to decide which day care would be best for Keeli, I came to the conclusion that I won't be ready for day care at just six months-old. I mean, SHE won't be ready. That's what I mean... ;)

Not only would staying at home with her keep her out of the day care atmosphere, where God only knows what goes on and what she'll be allowed to get into (not to mention, she'd have to be vaccinated in order to attend), but it would allow us to bond, continue breastfeeding exclusively, and take advantage of the time we have together before I go to nursing school.

It may seem as though I'm already planning to be the over-protective, obsessive mommy but... This is what I feel is right. I just can't justify sacrificing experiencing her very first year of life to go to school. I know that my going back would technically be for both our future benefit, but the fact of the matter is that I'm going to be in school for at least two years regardless. (And why not enjoy being unemployed and staying at home with her while I am able?) I may not even have to have a job until she is two years-old, allowing me at least a year to focus solely on her and my studies upon my return to school in the Fall of 2012.

Not to mention, my mom and I both shared the same feelings about going back mid-year, at the beginning of the Spring semester. I just think I would feel as though I have a better, more structured, "normal" routine in place by waiting to return until the Fall like (most) typical college students.

Don't get me wrong; I was excited about going back, having somewhere I know I need to be and working ahead to achieve my dreams for my daughter and me. But the sense of urgency to do so really seems trivial now that I realize how important these first months will be and how quickly they will go by. Plus, my brother is twenty-seven and still hasn't graduated (although when he does, it will be with two different bachelor's degrees, both with minors from UTC).

I will return to college; not returning is not an option. Waiting to return, however, is an option in my case and I can't wait to have the full-on "mommy" experience.