Life as a New Mommy

So, I don't have a whole lot of time right now (for obvious reasons). All I really have to say is that I am absolutely in LOVE with my life and this little girl we made. Words cannot describe how amazing she is.

She is growing so quickly! She was only 10 days new in this picture and I swear it seems like just yesterday that these were taken. She turned 6 weeks-old on Monday and she weighs ~12 pounds (next check up is in two weeks).

Her birth was beautiful... extremely long, extremely exhausting, but totally, indescribably awesome. I woke up on the Saturday before she was born around 3 a.m. having contractions that were long enough and intense enough in duration to keep me awake. So I was awake. All day Saturday and all night, as well as all day Sunday and all night, and then all day on Monday until she was born at 7:04 p.m. That's ~60 hours of labor (with no drugs... or sleep). I have to stress how tired I was. I knew, or I had been told, that first labors lasted a while, but DAYS?! Are you freakin' kidding me? It was worth it, though. I will never forget the first time I saw her little face, or the first time she breastfed, or her first diaper change... This is love.

OH! We found a really great pediatrician (courtesy of one of the amazing nurses at Women's East, Angie) who offers delayed and selective vaccinations. Angie heard us talking about having a hard time finding one, and about how the pediatrician at Women's East wouldn't even see Keeli when she was a day old because she hadn't had her shots. She referred us to Dr. Memon on Shallowford Road, and we just love her. :)

Keeli is smiling, giggling, babbling, and trying to roll over. I seriously feel like I'm getting old so quickly because of the rate she is developing and growing.

I am SO blessed and even more grateful... I can't even remember what I used to do with my time before this little angel came along.

Deciding to Stay at Home

In taking the past couple of days to decide which day care would be best for Keeli, I came to the conclusion that I won't be ready for day care at just six months-old. I mean, SHE won't be ready. That's what I mean... ;)

Not only would staying at home with her keep her out of the day care atmosphere, where God only knows what goes on and what she'll be allowed to get into (not to mention, she'd have to be vaccinated in order to attend), but it would allow us to bond, continue breastfeeding exclusively, and take advantage of the time we have together before I go to nursing school.

It may seem as though I'm already planning to be the over-protective, obsessive mommy but... This is what I feel is right. I just can't justify sacrificing experiencing her very first year of life to go to school. I know that my going back would technically be for both our future benefit, but the fact of the matter is that I'm going to be in school for at least two years regardless. (And why not enjoy being unemployed and staying at home with her while I am able?) I may not even have to have a job until she is two years-old, allowing me at least a year to focus solely on her and my studies upon my return to school in the Fall of 2012.

Not to mention, my mom and I both shared the same feelings about going back mid-year, at the beginning of the Spring semester. I just think I would feel as though I have a better, more structured, "normal" routine in place by waiting to return until the Fall like (most) typical college students.

Don't get me wrong; I was excited about going back, having somewhere I know I need to be and working ahead to achieve my dreams for my daughter and me. But the sense of urgency to do so really seems trivial now that I realize how important these first months will be and how quickly they will go by. Plus, my brother is twenty-seven and still hasn't graduated (although when he does, it will be with two different bachelor's degrees, both with minors from UTC).

I will return to college; not returning is not an option. Waiting to return, however, is an option in my case and I can't wait to have the full-on "mommy" experience.